What exactly does it mean to wait on God?
Dave and I are playing the waiting game. I think we’re both ok with it. There aren’t a lot of other options for us (except to say, “If we have to wait, then we don’t want it,” which just isn’t true). It’s hard, though, to wonder where we’re going to me in 6 months, or a year.
I keep reminding myself that these things are never sure. No matter how stable a life may seem, it can change a lot, and rapidly. Stability is something of an illusion, at least as it exists externally to a person. A human can be stable inside, in his internal structure. A job, a house, a career, a friendship…not so much. A million things can happen.
Really, we are ephemeral. We are truly like grass and so are the things we depend on. A job, a career, another person: at best they can offer illusions of stability. At worst, they become idols that we worship above God himself.
More than anything else, God has been teaching me that he’s the only thing I can depend on. Over the last couple of years, he’s made what seemed impossible possible. He’s made money come in when I didn’t think there’d be enough. He’s brought jobs and opportunitites and people into my life that I had never thought I would get to experience. But it’s all happened in his timing. When I’ve tried to make something happen or to push, I only hit my head against a wall or run into something that I really can’t push up against. It’s only when I’ve been open-handed, when I’ve approached him saying, “Lord, this is what I want and what I see, but if you have anything else for me, please let me know,” that things have begun to move forward.
So Dave and I are waiting. We’re hoping and we’re holding on and we’re doing what we can, but mostly we’re waiting. We’re waiting for God to move, for him to open up just a little bit more of the future and our plans to us.