Human beings? They’re evil. They’ll shake your hand one minute and lie about you the next. I’ve honestly never had it happen to me quite like that before, but that is what’s happening.
It’s this whole car accident. They’re insisting that I somehow did a good deal of damage to my bike and dislocated my shoulder by running into a non-moving truck. That’s seriously what they’re saying to our lawyer. They’re also saying that I said it was my fault. Since I never said that, and since it’s physically impossible for my shoulder to pop out the direction it did if I hit the truck, I’m really frustrated.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ll talk to the lawyer tomorrow and give him a more detailed version of what happened than he has had up to now. I’ll tell him about the evidence I have that what they’re saying isn’t true. But I don’t know that it will do any good.
This is all feeling really nasty, bordering, actually, on violating. I know who I am and what actually happened, and I feel like I have a pretty realistic sense of the whole situation. But I’m being made out as a money-hungry liar who is trying to get the poor immigrant in trouble, and that’s not what I’ve done at all. The idea that lawyers are sitting around talking about me, saying things like this, just feels nasty and dirty and gross. I know that what they say doesn’t change who I am or what really happened or any of that…that’s not what feels threatened.
I feel like I’m not explaining this very well and the truth is that I’m not sure I can do much better. Please pray for the whole situation. It’s frustrating and sad and infuriating all at the same time.
Update: I realized what it feels like. If someone tried to grab my purse on the street, I would feel violated even if I successfully fought them off or yelled loud enough that they ran away, etc. It’s the malevolence, the desire to hurt me (in this case by not giving me what is rightfully mine–reimbursement for losses suffered because of the accident) that I’m responding to and that feels so yuck to me.